this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
