the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How's work?
Spinning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
