i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
