No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
