yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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