Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You can't special order awesome
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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