Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
