my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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