Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
