the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
