Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize