i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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