why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
