it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
