he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
