you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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