That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
