Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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