Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize