My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
