Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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