I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
