I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
