hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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