i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize