I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
