Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
