she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
