I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
