it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
