do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
