if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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