if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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