She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
