They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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