We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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