never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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