I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize