i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
