It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
