I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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