you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
