Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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