He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
