so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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