Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
