Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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