i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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