Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
