He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ok first of all what the fuck
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
