38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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