What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
