k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
