The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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