Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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