the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
