Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
