so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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