Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
