This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize