you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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