He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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