after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
