Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
