Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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