You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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