so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
